The Craziest Crossover Ever
by Amberle Snowdrift
Summary: A Xover of Bleach, Transformers and the Warriors series by Erin Hunter. Argh! There's a calamity! Total ultra randomness. Prepare for major OOCness.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hihi, mina-san! This is my fanfic, and it's written with my best friends. This is a crossover of Bleach, Transformers and the Warriors series by Erin Hunter. I've edited a few parts, for it seems too confusing, but, if there's still anything you guys don't understand, just pm me, and I'll try my best to answer…Well, ok, I don't understand a thing about Transformers, but, I'll ask my best friend. I wrote the story from the Bleach perspective, one of my best friends, Karou, did the Transformer perspective and Chalice, my other best friend did the Warriors perspective. Prepare from major OOCness. XD

The story may seem ridiculous, but…It_ is_ supposed to seem ridiculous, so…Umm, if you hate ridiculous stuff, there's always the 'x' at the top right hand corner of the window, you know?

The Warriors perspective of the story is written in _italics_, The Transformers one is in **bold **and the Bleach one is done…Just like this.

Disclaimer: I _**DO NOT**_ own either Bleach, Warriors or Transformers. They are owned by Tite Kubo, Erin Hunter and…Hasbro and Takara respectively. (Gomene, like I mentioned, I don't understand a thing about Transformers, so don't kill me if I got it wrongly.)

_After the calamity, the great warriors of all the clans were scattered all over the Earth. Loved ones were separated , kits were killed in the tornado, Starclan also could not keep together. Their hunting grounds were torn apart by the winds. Even the strongest warriors fell helplessly on the wet thunderpath of the district. _

Far far away, Rukia was still trying to figure out how to open a juice box, though Ichigo has shown her countless times before. "Ne, Ichigo, show me how to open this thing again."

"What the…?! How many times must I show you?!"

"All I merely asked was 'Show me how to open this thing again'! Must you scream at me?!"

Ichigo opened his mouth to say something, but before he could, he felt something small and furry land on his head. Oh no! The sky is falling!

Well, not really. Ichigo saw Rukia pointing at that thing on his head, and he heard her whisper, "Neko. A cream-coloured small sized tom neko." Neko? Cat? What the…? And since when did Rukia know whether the cat is a male or a fe - Oh.

**The humans called Ichigo and Rukia (Yes, they heard them call each other that) gently carried the cat down from Ichigo's head and stroked it with equal gentleness. They were still looking incredibly at the cat. I mean, you don't often see a cat falling from the sky and landing on someone's head, right? The cat was trembling in trepidation, and all of a sudden, it raised its paw and pointed at…them. Ichigo slowly turned his head. What he saw made him rooted to the ground. A giant, blue-with-red-hot-rod-flames robot was staring at him, kneeling down to face level. Behind him were four other robots. Ichigo fainted. "Optimus, I think you gotta stop doing that to poor humans." The puke-green H2 search and rescue vehicle robot commented. "Whatever…Anyways, I am Optimus Prime. The puke guy is Ratchet, the Porche Soliace silver idiot is Jazz, the black GMC Topkick dude is Ironhide and the idiot yellow Camero 2009 is Bumblebee. I, of course, am the handsome and all-powerful leader of the Autobots." The other Autobots stared at Optimus with their own death glares. Rukia just stood there in shock. The cat suffered a heart attack. **

A/N: Well, we left it at that because a) We wanted a cliffhanger (Muahahaha!) and b) We didn't know where to leave off instead. Yeah, I know, this story sounds so…so…Ok, whatever! But this is our first fic together (And Chalice and my ever first fic, whoots!) so, have mercy. I don't really expect this story to be a great hit – this story was written because we were bored – so…erm…Argh! Forget it!!

Ok, I have to admit, it is short. Forgive us!! TT But I promise, the next chapter is waaaaaaaay longer. We've already got it written down, on the same piece of paper that is used to write this.

It's Karou's birthday today! Whoots! Happy birthday, Karou-chan!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Ok, I'm back to work. This time, as promised, it will be longer.

_**Disclaimer: Bleach, Warriors and Transformers belong to Tite Kubo, Erin Hunter and (I think) Hasbro and Takara respectively. **_

Bleach perspective is done like this, Transformers one in **bold** and the Warriors one in _italics_.

_A flame-coloured ginger tom staggered to his feet, only to discover he was in the shadows. Firestar glanced around. "S…Starclan? Am I in Starclan?" He muttered uncertainly as his eyes darted around in fear. Then, like a wave crashing down on him, the memories of the few minutes before he passed out returned to him. It dawned on him that he might have already lost all the eight lives he had left in the tornado. _

_Suddenly, he was in the light again. Shielding his eyes with one paw, he saw two twolegs, one lying on the floor with all four paws spread out and in between them, a cream-coloured apprentice lying helplessly on the great wide thunderpath. What was most shocking was, there were five big monsters towering above the helpless twolegs. Without thinking, he pelted towards the apprentice, picked it up by the scruff between his teeth and ran as quickly as his legs would carry him. From the scent, he could tell that the apprentice was from Thunderclan – his clan – and that it was Berrypaw. Even if the apprentice wasn't from his clan, he would still save it. In times like this, everyone needs each others' help – no matter which clan they are from – in order to survive._

Ichigo finally regained consciousness. "Rukia…"he managed to say, "Am I in heaven, no, scratch that, Soul Society?"

"Actually, you are in front of five monstrously gigantic robots," Rukia replied, watching the little cat which got carried off by a bigger tom with flame-coloured pelt. To say the truth, Rukia didn't know what to do in this kind of situations. Sure, she has defeated countless Hollows, one Arrancar [A/N: I think. Sorry, I don't really remember. and punched Ichigo and Renji countless times, but five humongous robots? Heck, no.

"**Prime! The creatures are getting away!" Bumblebee exclaimed. **

"**No worries. I shall catch them." Optimus then began to walk ( his strides are REALLY big) towards the cats and chased them like chickens. "Get back here!" Optimus said between gritted mouth components, bending down as his futile chase continued. Finally, he cornered the two cats. The one with flame-coloured pelt hissed, before running between Optimus' over-sized legs. Optimus lost his balance, stepping on the tail of the cat with flame-coloured pelt by accident. The cat let out a yowl, its tail being squashed beneath the metal foot. "Hehe, sorry, my bad." Optimus apologised, but the cat's tail was already flattened. Ouch.**

**Ichigo and Rukia just stood at a side, staring at the odd scene.**

_Firestar turned sharply and scratched at the monster's leg, hard. The monster retracted his metal-muscled leg. Firestar hissed once more, and ran away with Berrypaw again. He ignored the pain seering through his tail as he raced furiously through the giant trees and finally into a deserted Thunderpath. It was dark, but good for rest. He laid Berrypaw down and rested, licking his tail furiously. That big stupid monster tread on his tail worse than any twoleg would! For a moment, Firestar thought he would lose his eighth life._

A/N: Well, that was it. The end of this chapter. Erm…Still not long enough? Meep. Well, it is way longer than the previous one, so…let's just leave it at that. The next chapter won't be as fast, for it's not written yet. My best friends and I have to get together again to write it. Maybe tomorrow. Well then, thank you, mina-san, for reading this. If you did. Now, I won't force you to review – Please do it on your own will. )


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Ok, minna! We're back! I'm so sorry we took a long time! So sorry!!! 

Ok, by now you guys should know which font is for which group. I'll save time by not repeating it.

**Disclaimers: We do not own Warriors, Bleach or Transformers.**

**-------------------------------------------**

"**Come here, kitties. There's nothing to fear…"Optimus bent down, piercing blue optics glaring at the ginger tom cat. Firestar hissed at the metal alien, getting up to run again. Ichigo and Rukia were rock-frozen solid. wishing to run but were rooted to the ground. "Erm, Prime, are you even sure that kitten is the one who took the Allspark shard?" Bumblebee asked. (For all those who didn't watch the Transformers movie, the Allspark is a giant alien life-giving cube which Bumblebee reduced to a really small cube and was later used to kill the evil Megatron as done by Sam Witwicky, whose actions then reduced it to a tiny shard. –Phew– ) "I think so, my sensors are picking up signs of the Allspark with the cat. "Ratchet said. "Wow. I didn't know that you became Prime. All hail the almighty Ratchetmus Prime." Ironhide rolled his optics (if he could).**

**---**

Ichigo could sense that Rukia was still rooted to the ground beside him…Actually, he was rooted to the ground too. And he couldn't bear the silence of both Rukia and him. Solution: Break it. "Rukia, er…are you ok?"

"Ichigo, am I dreaming?"

"Unfortunately, no. Though I hope so."

They stared at the odd scene before them…again. In silence…again. Apart from the ruckus the robots and the cats were making, they could hear crickets chirping.

He couldn't bear it anymore. He wanted to be sane. Everything that was happening was insane, which is equal to the opposite of sane. And he didn't want that.

"Erm, everyone, sorry to interrupt, but could everyone stop what you're doing and let my poor mind rest in peace?"

No response. Insert crickets chirping and annoying ruckus here. A vein appeared on his forehead.

"I said, WILL EVERYONE STOP WHAT YOU ARE FREAKING DOING AND LET ME AND MY POOR MIND REST IN PEACE?!???!"

All eyes to Ichigo.

All of a sudden, Ichigo felt very VERY uncomfortable. He gulped. No, please, he didn't want to be in Soul Society forever. He still has a long life before him!

God bless him. Amen.

---

_Firestar gave up helplessly on his damaged tail and shifted his attention to Berrypaw as his limp body slumped against the wall. In the darkness, Firestar could not find the cream-coloured apprentice. "You big fat stupid monster, GET OUTTA THE WAY!" he hissed. Optimus, unable to understand the meows, just stood there scratching his metal helmet. Firestar thought: If talking didn't work, he'll have to do it by FORCE! He strut to Optimus, scratched it furiously and sank his teeth into its joints. Optimus ran away in pain, satisfying Firestar's hunger for light. He turned around and noticed Berrypaw at once. He pelted towards him and licked him furiously. Come on, wake up! Thankfully, Berrypaw budged. "Where am I? Am I in Starclan? Oh, I am too young too die. Noooooooooooo..." Firestar shook him hard. "Get a grip on yourself! You are not in Starclan!" And he started rambling on about their calamity, the peace, the tornado, the monsters and twolegs…_

---

**Ratchet bent down and plucked the Allspark from behind Berrypaw's ear. "Erm…" Jazz stared at Ratchet. "How did you know where it was?" **

"**Instincts. Now, go get Optimus back…" Jazz saluted and raced off as a Pontiac Solatice. Minutes later, Jazz came back in his bipedal form, dragging a familiar blue and red robot. "Woah, Optimus, you might want to switch to unleaded petrol…" Eventually, Optimus was back in the alley. Ratchet handed Optimus the Allspark shard. Upon contact, the Allspark glowed, shocking the five Autobots (literally!) along with the two fleshlings. The seven of them glowed white, blinding Firestar and Berrypaw. When they opened their eyes (and optics), Ironhide said, "What was that?"**

**Silence.**

**A yellow tomcat gasped. "WHY ARE WE FELINES?!"**

**----------------------------------------**

A/N: OK!! I've done it. YAY! Don't worry, minna. I'm going to type the next chapter soon. It's written already.

Once again, I'll have to apologise. Honestly. I'm sorry for not replying to your reviews. I didn't know you guys actually did review! I'm honestly touched and sorry. Though if you guys didn't, I couldn't be bothered. Once again, arigatou!!

Well, yeah, I guess I did reply to some of you. But the last review didn't really get through to me. (I believe it was the last review) I'm really sorry.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Ok, minna, maybe 'soon' is 'not that soon' but…Aww, never mind. Here's the next chapter. Forget what I just said.

_**Disclaimers and font thingy still applies.**_

**----------------------------**

** Everyone looked at themselves. Pointed ears, whiskers, paws, tail…yup. They've been turned into cats. A blue and red tomcat stepped forward. "Everyone, identify yourselves."**

"**Why am I a squishy?!" The black tomcat, Ironhide, exclaimed.**

** Silence.**

---

Ichigo could not stand this anymore. Things just got weirder and weirder. Heck, all he merely wanted is to stroll with Rukia. Is that too much to ask?! And now he has been turned into a cat. Great. Just his day! Not.

He watched the rest identify themselves, then all of a sudden, all eyes turned to him. Wait, what's wrong? Did he have a flea in his ea- oh! It was his turn.

"Erm, hi everyone, nice to meet you. I'm Kurosaki Ichigo. NOW CAN ANYONE FREAKING TELL ME WHAT THE HECK IS HAPPENING?! AND, WHERE RUKIA IS?!"

A completely white cat stepped out and meowed (yes, meowed), "Ichigo? I'm here."

"Oh thank god!" Instincts took over as he dashed towards Neko Rukia and buried his muzzle in her flank. "I thought you were gone!"

If cats could blush, that's what the both of them would have done now.

"Ahem! Sorry to interrupt you lovecats, but could we carry on with what we were doing?" Optimus yowled.

If cats could blush EVEN more, that's what Ichigo and Rukia would have done now.

---

_ Firestar said, "I'm Firestar," and he started rambling on about everything that had happened in Thunderclan. Though he usually does not let enemies know what had happened in his clan, he felt that this erm, beings, were not enemies and would probably help him. When he had finished, there was a sea of question marks on everyone's (except his and Berrypaw's) heads. He then apologized on behalf of the clan. Then, Berrypaw stepped forward and introduced himself. Firestar pushed him aside and spoke in his bossy voice, after hauling himself up on a box in the alley, "Alright. Fellow…beings," he stared in disgust at the twoleg-cats and monster-cats, "we need to start searching for our…fellow cats lost in the tornado." Berrypaw nodded, "Though I am only an apprentice, I understand the importance of unity and…" blah blah blah etcetera etcetera.__ (Yeah, just go read Warriors. If I start explaining here, it'll take up a LOT of time, energy and space.)_

---

** By the time both Firestar and Berrypaw were finished with their (long and boring) speeches, everyone else had fallen asleep (except Optimus, who himself gave long speeches). Firestar and Berrypaw sweatdropped (if it were possible). "So, ah, how are we supposed to find your Thunder-whatever cats again?" Optimus asked.**

"**Go wake up your troops already!" Firestar growled in annoyance. Reluctantly, Optimus cleared his throat and shouted (actually, 'yowled' is more appropriate here), "MEN! Get your slaggin' afts off your stinking recharge berths and assemble for morning drill with Magnus or you'll be in the waste excretor units cleaning it with your own cleaning cloths!" All the bots-turned-cats (Need a guide? Yellow - Bumblebee, silver - Jazz, black - Ironhide, puke green - Ratchet) immediately got up and stood (on four paws, of course) at attention (don't ask…). Firestar and Berrypaw stared in amazement. "Wow, gotta try something like that on my warriors someday…" Firestar murmured.**

** Berrypaw immediately hid behind the box that Firestar was standing on.**

**---**

Ichigo was having a nice dream. He dreamt that he and Rukia were having a nice stroll in the park (as human/shinigami/representative shinigami etc.). They had just sat down on a bench, taking a rest after their long long (not to mention peaceful, with the occasional bugging from Rukia) stroll. He didn't know what had gotten into him, but all of a sudden, he found Rukia's lips soft, warm and inviting. Hormones (wow, he actually has them) took over and he found himself bending down towards Rukia, their lips just inches apart, when suddenly…

"MEN! Get your slaggin' afts off your stinking recharge berths and assemble for morning drill with Magnus or you'll be in the waste excretor units cleaning it with your own cleaning cloths!"

Great. His beautiful dream, POOF! Shattered. And he was so close, so close!

He swore he would get Optimus back for this.

"Ichigo, are you alright?" Rukia! He looked up. Yes, she still looks so beautiful, though she's a cat…Ok, in the body of a cat. Wait! Beautiful?! Erase, erase! For God's sake, she's a midget…small cat! How could he find midgets…or small cats…beautiful…or the equivalent of beautiful in cat langu-

"I said, are you alright?!" Oh. Not a very nice tone.

"Yeah, I am. Sorry, just got sort of…distracted." He got up and stretched. "Any idea what's going to happen?"

"Not really. But I know we have to help the poor cute nekos…The poor cute Thunderclan cats. Though they eat rabbits." Rukia replied.

"And how are we gonna do that? And how will we finally get back into our own bodies?!"

"Hey! Don't shout…yell…meow very loudly at me! I have no idea too!"

"Sorry…" Sigh. Though he didn't want to help the 'poor cute Thunderclan cats', he decided to do it just to make his angel happy.

Wait. Since when did midgets- ahem! Small cats become angels?! HIS angel?!

And did he just apologized to Rukia?!

Great. The world just gets weirder and weirder with each passing second.

------------------------

A/N: Ta da! Done! Wowzers! This fic just gets longer and longer with each increasing chapter (Lol). Yeah. Sorta IchiRuki fluff there. SORTA. I'm an IchiRuki fan. Don't like it, don't read it. It takes lesser energy to press the back or 'x' button than type a whole flame. Though if you really did type a flame, I couldn't care less.

I told Ka-chan that there is no such thing as a 'puke green cat', but she didn't want to change it. Actually, it's more like I forgot what she said exactly, but whatever it was that she said, she didn't change it.


End file.
